The First Read online

  “Ugh.” I silently groaned as I flipped my notebook open and pulled out a pen from the bottom of my bag. If I didn’t look at him, I could stop myself from being another doe-eyed idiot who gazed at him like he was the Messiah. I was mad at him, but staring too long made me lose all rationality. Before I could successfully carve him out of my mind, he was already hovering over Gigi, with one of those smiles that made everything down south a little wetter.

  “Hey G,” he murmured to her and she almost fell off her seat.

  “H-hey Alf-Alfie,” she stuttered, something I didn’t think possible for her.

  “You wouldn’t mind swapping seats with me, would you? I need to talk to Zadie and I don’t want Mr. Weiss catching us.” His delivery was perfect; a good mix of sweet and sexy to cover all the bases. Like a vampire luring his prey into a trap, she simply smiled, nodded her head as she stood up and made her way to the front of the classroom without so much as another word. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes again as I looked away from him. I attempted to ignore him but I could sense his hovering presence plop down on the seat beside me and move the desk a few inches closer to me.

  “Alfie, you better back that desk up to where it was,” I shot at him but he was unwavering. Keeping my eyes on the book, I felt his hands tug at my sleeve. I attempted to ignore him but his hands were moving toward the hem of my mini skirt. As Mr. Weiss made his way into the classroom, I felt Alfie tug at my skirt a few more times in an effort to capture my attention. “Alfie, what the hell?” I shot at him under my breath as I pushed his hands away from my skirt and looked to him. Finally satisfied, he drew his hands back to his desk and kept his eyes glued to mine.

  “I was out of line this morning,” he admitted softly as Mr. Weiss began to write something on the chalkboard.

  “You think?” I shot back quietly and he gave me a look that could be compared to that of a sad puppy.

  “I’m protective over you. I always have been. I said some shitty things that I didn’t mean. I stand by my assessment of LaSalle, but you’re right. That’s not for me to dictate, your life is yours and your decisions belong only to you.” If I had to choose one thing I admired most about Alfie, it was his ability to reflect upon his mistakes and do what was right. He never held grudges, unlike me. He tried to fix broken things.

  “I’m also sorry.” I looked away from him and up at the board where Mr. Weiss had written four essay questions. “You’re not a jerk.” I smiled as I looked over to him. He was glowing brightly. Reaching his hand for my skirt, he began to tug at the hem playfully.

  “That must’ve killed you to say,” he teased as I pushed his hands away.

  “Alfie! Stop!” I said under my breath but our silent laughter caught the attention of Mr. Weiss and the rest of the class.

  “Mr. Montgomery, Miss. King,” he groaned. “I hope the class and I aren’t interrupting an important discussion between the two of you.” I wanted to bury myself in a hole. Everyone knew Alfie and I were friends but they barely got to see us interact at school. The girls in the class looked at me with confusion and the boys with amusement.

  “Not at all, Mr. Weiss. Please proceed,” Alfie shot back playfully and the class broke out in laughter, all swooning over how cool Alfie was. Even Mr. Weiss couldn’t resist his charm.

  As class came to an end, I began to pack my books up and head to my next class. Our fellow classmates had surrounded Alfie as soon as the bell rang and I took this as an opportunity to slip away from the group, and their curious eyes. Before I could make it past the front row of seats, LaSalle had made his way to my side.

  “Hey, Z!” he greeted me as he swung his backpack over his shoulder.

  “Hey, LaSalle. What’s happening?” I attempted to act natural around him, but Gigi’s words began to hound me and I quickly grew nervous.

  “Oh you know, the usual. You going to be at the game tonight?” Leaning back on the desk beside me, I noticed his eyes scan my body slowly. This only contributed to my nerves.

  “Ugh, yeah I am.” His eyes were planted on the hem of my skirt. “You?” I attempted to act natural but my hands were growing sweaty from the interaction. It didn’t feel like the good type of sweating.

  “Definitely. Gotta support my boys from the bleachers.” His eyes were unwavering on my skirt and I couldn’t help but feel like a lion was sizing up his prey. “We should sit together, maybe grab something to eat afterwards.” He was off the desk and by my side, his hands reaching out to touch the hem of my skirt. I watched him bite his lip and look me in the eye and I wondered what a normal reaction should be in that moment. Most girls would blush and feel tingly inside but I wasn’t getting anything from him. Nonetheless, I didn’t want Alfie to be right.

  “Sounds good to me.” Before LaSalle had a chance to release my skirt, Alfie was by side, disconnecting Ralph’s hold on my skirt and wrapping his bulky arm around my shoulders.

  “Z, we should get to class,” he said to me as he ignored LaSalle’s presence. Looking between the two, I wondered what came over Alfie. We were never blatantly affectionate at school and he was never a jerk to anyone. That’s what made him so damn likeable. “Here, I’ll get that for you.” Alfie grabbed my backpack from my shoulder and began to drag me past the last row of seats before whipping his head back to look at an agitated LaSalle. “Oh, sup LaSalle? Hope to see you at the game! GO SCORPIONS!” he cheered to the remainder of the class as he continued to drag me out of the room filled with our cheering peers. Tumbling out of the classroom and into the busy hallway, I wondered what had just come over Alfie. I knew he got weird when he had a big game to focus on, but he never dragged me into it and he never got so invested in my life.

  “What. The. Hell. Was. That?” I asked in disbelief as I detangled myself from his hold on me. I looked up at him in shock, still reeling from how he ended my private conversation with LaSalle.

  “What?” he asked unfazed by my question. Leaning toward him I went to grab my bag but he dodged my attempts as he continued to walk toward our art class.

  “What’s going on with you? I know you don’t like LaSalle but we JUST talked about you butting out of the decisions I make for myself,” I shot at him as I continued to reach for my bag. “And what’s with this sudden show of affection at school? Remember me wanting to stay under the radar. Which means no messing around, no touching and no playing with my skirt. It looks suspicious and with a guy like you, nasty rumors about me being hopelessly in love with you will spread down these halls faster than wild fire!” I took a minute to catch my breath as we made our way up to the next floor and toward Mrs. Suarez’s art studio.

  “You didn’t seem to have a problem with LaSalle messing around with your skirt.” The comment wasn’t directed at me, it was said under his breath as we powered on through the hoards of students making their way to their next class.

  “What?” I asked as I attempted to match his gigantic steps. “Hey!” I called out to him a little louder as I reached for his shoulder and brought him to a stop a few doors away from our classroom. “I don’t understand, Alfie.”

  “I never wanted our friendship under the radar, and as far as this thing with LaSalle, I said I’d let you make your own decisions. I didn’t say I’d stop protecting you. So yeah, when I see sleazy LaSalle touching you up, I’m going to break it up. Every time,” he said as we continued on, walking past the last few doors. Grabbing him one last time, I brought him to a stop in front of our classroom.

  “You don’t get to do that. I’m not yours and maybe I don’t want you to protect me anymore.” As the words left my lips, I grabbed a hold of my backpack and pushed my way into the classroom, not waiting for him to respond.

  WILSON’S LAUNDROMAT

  2018

  As the twenty minutes came to an end, my ride finally made its way to Wilson’s Laundromat. I was a hot mess of emotions as I stepped out of the cab and shut the door behind me. On one hand I was heartbroken by Alfie and on the other, Marcus was filling
me with curiosity. From afar he had always been something of a literary idol of mine, but after seeing him with my own eyes, he quickly became an idol with a nice ass and eyes that made me melt. I wasn’t experienced with any of this. Dating was not my forte, I had done it on and off since high school but I had never been in a real relationship, unlike Alfie, who was an expert in that department. My love for Alfie dictated the failure of all the relationships in my life.

  “Coffee spiller.” A thick voice came into my world and I looked over to the entrance of Wilson’s Laundromat. There, at its glass doors, stood Marcus Park in all his glory. He was wearing beige chinos, loafers, and dark blue sweater. He looked all of his thirty-five years and smelled like an incredible mix of pine and cologne. His dark hair fell messily over his forehead but didn’t obstruct his view like Alfie’s use to. Stepping away from the laundromat, hands in pockets, he looked down at me from his bellowing height and smirked a little in satisfaction. Only then did I realize my cheeks were burning.

  “I have a name,” I pointed out and he lifted his brow in curiosity.

  “I do hope so. ‘Coffee-spiller’ doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue,” he teased me and I felt my stomach do somersaults. Was Marcus Park flirting with me? “So, do you have my quarters?” he asked with a playful smile. Opening my satchel, I pulled out a small plastic bag filled with the quarters I managed to exchange from cash at a convenience store.

  “All ready to go.” I handed him the bag and he took it, opening the door for me to enter. “I thought you just wanted my quarters.” I was incredulous to the prospect of him actually wanting me in his presence.

  “Oh no, the one who stains the shirt has to do the work.” His smile was breezy, a little hopeful but mostly mysterious as he continued to hold the door open for me. Nodding my head, I followed his lead and made my way into the miniscule room. “So, that name of yours?” he asked as he guided me to his washing machine.

  “Zadie.” I was almost positive he could see the effect he was having on me. Pulling out the stained white shirt from a canvas bag and a few other items, he began to shove them into the washer.

  “Nice to meet you, Zadie.” He looked away from the machine, offering his hand to me. Taking his into my own, I made sure to avoid eye contact in case I fell into whatever trap was waiting for me. Someone as beautiful as Marcus Park wasn’t designed to be with just any girl; I could see him with a countess or some gorgeous socialite.

  “Marcus Park,” he offered and I found myself laughing at his introduction. “Did I say something funny?” He smirked as he placed his hands back into his pockets. He observed me intently, looking me up and down. I wasn’t much of a sight in my ripped jeans, brown boots and stained white blouse.

  “I just…I know who you are, Marcus Park. I was in your seminar this morning. You’re incredible. I mean, your mind. Your mind is incredible. I’m not saying that in a flirtatious way. Not that I wouldn’t flirt with you. I would, but I’m not in this instance because your brain from a literary point of view is sick…not sick as in ill sick…” His laughter was a welcome interruption. If he hadn’t done something, that awkward rant could’ve gone on for hours. Covering my face with my hands, I attempted to hide myself, maybe I would disappear and my first conversation with Marcus Park, man of words, wouldn’t be so horrifying.

  “That was pretty damn cute,” he murmured as he took my hands into his own and removed them from my face.

  “I do that a lot, rant, it’s a bad habit and far from cute. My friend Penny calls it a brain fart because all this unpleasantness is coming out and I can’t physically stop it. Okay, I’m doing it again. I only do it when I’m nervous, and you make me nervous,” I admitted to him as he sat up on the adjacent washer and observed me a little more. Jumping onto the washer behind me, we sat opposite each other.

  “I make you nervous?” he asked, his smirk a little less apparent. He continued to watch me with a smoldering look and I felt my panties become a little less dry.

  “I’ve been following your work for years. You have this incredible writing style; it makes it easy for anyone to understand. Your work isn’t just reserved for professionals; a kid getting introduced to feminist thought for the first time can read your work and really be impacted by it.” I found myself growing uncomfortable as he watched me with lustful eyes.

  “You’re beautiful.” He bit his bottom lip and I felt a rush of something fill every inch of my body.

  “What?” I scoffed, looking away from him and jumping off the washer. Looking into his washer, I pulled out a pair of red boxers and grimaced at him, hoping to change the subject. “You can’t put this in here unless you want this all to become pink,” I warned him as I threw in some laundry powder and stain remover he had brought with him. Closing the machine, I shoved some quarters into the coin slot and bit my lips as I felt the vibration of the machine tickle my fingers.

  “Why don’t you like looking at me?” he asked and I kept my eyes on the machine. As it began to fill with water, I took a step back and wrapped my hands around the strap on my satchel.

  “I should go.” My insecurities were through the roof and all my Alfie drama wasn’t helping the situation. “It was nice to meet you, Marcus.” Spinning around, I attempted to bolt for the glass door but before I could get a few feet away, he obstructed the door. His stance spoke volumes, demanding I look into his eyes without saying a single word.

  “I like looking at you. You’re a beautiful break from my everyday,” he confessed and I couldn’t fathom that my literary idol was actually flirting with me. “Will you join me for dinner tomorrow night? I know this great food truck, every Saturday it parks at Central Park and feeds the moonlight moviegoers. I think ‘The plague of the zombies’ is playing tomorrow.” I couldn’t help but raise my brows in surprise.

  “Classic zombie fan?” I asked, finally growing enough courage to look him straight in his magnificent eyes.

  “The biggest,” he proclaimed and I found myself wanting to learn more about him.

  “Tomorrow sounds good,” I agreed and his smile radiated off of him, making him look younger than his years.

  “See you then, Zadie.” He stepped away from the door and I walked past him, attempting to contain the spring in my step. Marcus was different than every guy I had ever dated, the way he looked at me was similar to the way Alfie looked at every woman other than me, he intrigued me and made me wonder if there was a world outside of the one I built around Alfie.

  BENEATH THE BLEACHERS

  2008

  As I squeezed myself through the crowds, I finally managed to reach the bleachers just in time to see Alfie warming up with his teammates. The opposing crowds of Red and White stood out in magnificence in the brisk night air. Alfie was throwing a football around with a teammate when I finally managed to find a seat toward the front, near the marching band. He noticed me from the corner of his eyes and stopped throwing the ball to do our usual good luck ritual. As he pounded his heart twice with a clenched fist, kissed the tip of his fingers and pointed them at me, I smiled despite myself and returned the gesture. I was still pissed at him, but this was a big night for him and he had an unnatural ability to get me to forgive him without trying very hard. He wore his drop dead gorgeous smile brightly as he looked away and continued to throw the ball. Despite the booming crowd and practicing band, I somehow managed to hear snickers just a few feet away on the sidelines of the sporting field. Head Cheerleader Clarissa Hayes, Alfie’s most recent ex, and her squad, spoke in whispers as they looked between Alfie and I with villainous spite. I ignored them as they whispered into their pompoms to each other and continued to watch Alfie throw the ball. She wasn’t the first spiteful blonde to make me feel like an extraterrestrial freak show, getting too close to her man, and she wouldn’t be the last.

  As Coach Green called in his players, a foreboding figure loomed beside me and I looked up to see Ralph smiling down at me, licking his lips as he observed me. I wasn’t much of a sigh
t, wearing one of Alfie’s old jerseys and a jean skirt.

  “Hey girl,” he greeted me and I smiled as I moved my bag off the chair beside me to give him room to sit. “You look hot.” His words caught me off guard as he sat down beside me and swung his arms around the back of my seat.

  “Hey LaSalle.” I looked forward toward Alfie who was listening intently to Coach. “Thanks, I guess.” I wasn’t very good at responding to compliments. I knew he wanted to flirt by his body language but I wasn’t entirely sure how I wanted to handle that flirting. He didn’t repulse me, but I didn’t want to jump his bones either. “So, how’d you go on Miss Yang’s pop quiz?” I asked as the crowd began to get excited, the game was about to start but I couldn’t stand awkward silence.

  “Ugh yeah, good I guess. I got a B, you?” he asked but I could tell he didn’t care.

  “An A.” I quickly answered his question, fiddling awkwardly as I caught the tail end of Coach Green slapping the back of Alfie’s head with his clipboard, getting him to focus his attention. But Alfie’s focus didn’t shift from Ralph and I. He was watching Ralph with an intense scowl before Coach hit him on the head again, dragging his attention away from us. I rolled my eyes in annoyance.